My dear sweet children,
I am sorry I have been away so long. All I can tell you is that it is not by my choice. I am being made to stay away. All I want more than anything else is to be with you. I miss you every day, and you never leave my thoughts. I have been fighting this entire year and one month to get back to you. One day I will beat the forces that are keeping you from me, and we will be together again.
You might be questioning why I have not contacted you sooner? I have not because I am not allowed to, but I no longer. I still can not see you, but I will continue to write to you, send you gifts, try to let you know that I am here for you, and I love you.
I live in a big house by the Toyota dealership. I chose to live close to work since I can not be close to you. I actually live with 6 other men. These men are all graduate students at Liberty College. I have a small room where I stay. I live on the second floor. My window faces the street and I get the evening sun in my room. In my room I have a small bed, a couch, a book case, an end table and an entertainment center with a big television, DVD player, and stereo. On this entertainment center I have nine pictures of you children. I have one picture I particularly like. I once took a picture of all three of you together by the driveway in front of the neighbor’s house. You were all dressed up for church. Madeleine had her hair curled that day. You are all so beautiful. I took one picture where you three have perfect little angel smiles, and a second where you made funny faces.
I spend most of my time working. I work all the time to keep my mind off of you. I work twelve hours a day and have Sundays off. I really do not have to work these long hours as I am expected to work until 6-630 PM and take a day off during the week. I got a big promotion at work in June. I am now in charge of all the dealerships Internet sales departments, and all the websites. It is a tough job, but I love it. I am very blessed to have a job that allows me to pay the bills during these tough economical times. I do well in this position, so I will be able to continue to work for a long time to come.
The hardest times for me are evenings after work. I miss putting you guys to bed. I miss singing your bed time songs and doing the little things you wanted me to do before you fell asleep. How I wish I can sing each of your songs to you again….
I know you are behaving well for your mother. I know you love her very much as she loves you too. Please do not forget me, as I love you more than anything else in this world. I would do anything for you. I know I can not change what has happened in the last year, but life is long, and eventually I will see you again and be the same silly papa you loved.
Be good! Keep in mind I am always thinking about you, and praying for you. I am very proud of how strong you have been for your mother this past year.
Please write me if you want to, and if Mommy says it is okay. If you have a new school picture I would love to have one. I want to hear about school, your friends, what new toys you have that make you happy, what you thought of the snow and so on… I hope to hear from you!
Love always, PAPA!
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