Happy New Year

Hoping for the best for you and your sisters this new year. I love you.

Happy Thanksgiving

Son, 

I missed you today. I hope you had lots of yummy things to eat and were surrounded by lots of family and friends. 

Old Pics

Antonio, I though you might enjoy these.

I am not sure if the date are correct on these pictures, but I sure love that I fount them.

Me and Bella at Pismo Beach in 2005.

Happy Birthday

Dear Son,

I hope you had a wonderful birthday.  I miss you every day.

Letter To My Children February 2, 2010

My dear sweet children,

I am sorry I have been away so long.  All I can tell you is that it is not by my choice.  I am being made to stay away.  All I want more than anything else is to be with you.  I miss you every day, and you never leave my thoughts.  I have been fighting this entire year and one month to get back to you.  One day I will beat the forces that are keeping you from me, and we will be together again. 

You might be questioning why I have not contacted you sooner?  I have not because I am not allowed to, but I no longer.  I still can not see you, but I will continue to write to you, send you gifts, try to let you know that I am here for you, and I love you. 

I live in a big house by the Toyota dealership.  I chose to live close to work since I can not be close to you.  I actually live with 6 other men.  These men are all graduate students at Liberty College.  I have a small room where I stay.  I live on the second floor.  My window faces the street and I get the evening sun in my room.  In my room I have a small bed, a couch, a book case, an end table and an entertainment center with a big television, DVD player, and stereo.  On this entertainment center I have nine pictures of you children.  I have one picture I particularly like.  I once took a picture of all three of you together by the driveway in front of the neighbor’s house.  You were all dressed up for church.  Madeleine had her hair curled that day.  You are all so beautiful.  I took one picture where you three have perfect little angel smiles, and a second where you made funny faces. 

I spend most of my time working.  I work all the time to keep my mind off of you.  I work twelve hours a day and have Sundays off.  I really do not have to work these long hours as I am expected to work until 6-630 PM and take a day off during the week.   I got a big promotion at work in June.  I am now in charge of all the dealerships Internet sales departments, and all the websites.  It is a tough job, but I love it.  I am very blessed to have a job that allows me to pay the bills during these tough economical times.  I do well in this position, so I will be able to continue to work for a long time to come. 

The hardest times for me are evenings after work.  I miss putting you guys to bed.  I miss singing your bed time songs and doing the little things you wanted me to do before you fell asleep.  How I wish I can sing each of your songs to you again…. 

I know you are behaving well for your mother.  I know you love her very much as she loves you too.  Please do not forget me, as I love you more than anything else in this world.  I would do anything for you.  I know I can not change what has happened in the last year, but life is long, and eventually I will see you again and be the same silly papa you loved.

Be good!  Keep in mind I am always thinking about you, and praying for you.  I am very proud of how strong you have been for your mother this past year. 

Please write me if you want to, and if Mommy says it is okay. If you have a new school picture I would love to have one.  I want to hear about school, your friends, what new toys you have that make you happy, what you thought of the snow and so on… I hope to hear from you!

Love always,   PAPA!

For My Son Antonio, Words For A Lifetime

  Antonio, you are my intelligent, funny, handsome, well-behaved, kindhearted, sweet, brave, and happy young man.  It has been more than three years since you have seen me.  You likely have few memories of me by now.  

  I remember how you used to get up every morning, the moment you heard me stirring about the house.  No matter how early it was, you would eagerly get out of bed, grab your blue blanket and a Hot Wheels car, find me and say, "Hi, Poppi!" and give me a giant hug.  You would follow me through all my morning tasks.  I recall you constantly sitting at my feet as I prepared my coffee, when I ironed, shaved, etc.  When I would leave for work, you always gave me a giant squeeze and made sure it was big enough to last all day. You would ask, "Is that big enough, Papa?"    

  One of the most joyful parts of my day, was when I arrived home from work. Your sisters, Isabella and Madeleine, would call out to you and let you know I was home.  Just like in all happy homes around the world, when the father comes home, it was a celebration when I entered the house.  You and your sisters would yell, "YAY!  Papa's home."  You would sing it over and over again, and I would be showered with hugs and kisses, and you and Isabella would say, "play with me, play with me."  What a perfect snapshot of life. 
  
  We were always together when I was not working.  On my days off you would stay at my side all day long.  If I ever left you at home while I went to the store, for example, it would crush your little heart if I did not take you with me.  You were such a good boy.

  A season of our lives has been stripped away from us, and hopefully we will be reunited one day soon. I often fall back on this scripture, "And I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten" Joel 2:25.  I certainly pray for God to give me back the years I have been without you. This time away from you is excruciating for me, as I miss you in every way possible a father could miss his only son. 
 
  I fear I may never see you again, so I am compelled to write down some advice, as I may not be able to tell you this in person or teach you by example.  We can call it "a road map for your life."  I have 11 things I want to share with you.  Read these ideas well, and keep them in your heart at all times.  

Son, wherever you are, be there!  Be there in mind and spirit in whatever you do.  Do not be distracted by other tasks when there is a current task at hand.  Live in every moment.

"One of the major reasons why we fail to find happiness or to create a unique lifestyle is because we have not yet mastered the art of being."
- Jim Rohn

"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
- Matthew 6:34


Son, always care for and respect women.  Treat them tenderly as you would a delicate flower in every word and action you have. Love your mother and sisters unconditionally.

"Women wish to be loved without a why or a wherefore; not because they are pretty, or good, or well-bred, or graceful, or intelligent, but because they are themselves."
- Henri Fredric Amiel

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it."
- Col 3:19        

Son, endeavor to simplify life.

"The best things in life are nearest: Breath in your nostrils, light in your eyes, flowers at your feet, duties at your hand, the path of right just before you.  Then do not grasp at the stars, but do life's plain, common work as it comes, certain that daily duties and daily bread are the sweetest things in life."
- Robert Louis Stevenson

"I know what it is like to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or want." 
- Philippians 4:12


Son, do not let obstacles get in your way.  If something frightens you, consider doing it.  LEAP!

"Go for it now.  The future is promised to no one." 
- Wayne Dyer

"Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact."
- Henry James

 "Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong."        
- 1 Corinthians 16:13

Son, do things for others that will develop you in the long run, even if it is inconvenient for you in the short term.
"Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?"
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Greater love hath no man than to lay down his life for his friends."
- John 15:13

"Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."
- Philippians 2:4

Son, share yourself. Be kind to others, especially to the outcast. Make them feel welcome. 

"A kind and compassionate act is often its own reward." 
- William Bennett

"Execute true judgment, and show mercy and compassion every man to his brother: And oppress not the widow, nor the fatherless, the stranger, nor the poor; and let none of you imagine evil against his brother in your heart."
- Zechariah 7:9-10 


Son, be an honest man in all things. 

"Almost any difficulty will move in the face of honesty. When I am honest, I never feel stupid.  And when I am honest, I am automatically humble."
- Hugh Prather

"Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much."
- Luke 16:10 



Son, if you are having trouble finding your path in life, that's good.  Learn to be patient.  Nothing in life is ever easy.  All things will come together when the time is right. 

"Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men." 
- John F. Kennedy

"A man who is a master of patience is master of everything else."
- George Savile

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 
- Jeremiah 29:11

Son, never be complacent. Look beyond yourself.

"I hate to see complacency prevail in our lives when it's so directly contrary to the teaching of Christ." 
- Jimmy Carter

"When a great team loses through complacency, it will constantly search for new and more intricate explanations to explain away defeat." - Pat Riley

"I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other!"
- Revelation 3:15

Son, make it a point to earn a living to live life, and never live to earn a living.

"Let us more and more insist on raising funds of love, of kindness, of understanding, of peace. Money will come if we seek first the Kingdom of God - the rest will be given."
- Mother Teresa

"Keep your life free from the love of money, and be content with what you have."
- Luke 16:13


Son, never let your heart, your head, your hands, your feet, or your mouth be used for anything other than good. 

"An act of goodness is of itself an act of happiness. No reward coming after the event can compare with the sweet reward that went with it."
- Maurice Maeterlinck

"Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies."
- Psalms 34:13

"Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and He will flee from you. "
- James 4:7

Beyond these 11 thoughts, my greatest hope for you is that you are happy and comfortable with the choices you make in life. These are the things you will own your entire lifetime.  You have the freedom to make these choices the way you see fit.  You will make many choices every day, and I pray you make every one of them count! 

Remember for all your days my love for you is a greater feeling beyond everything else I know.

I am here for you.  All you have to do is ask for me. 

I love you,

Papa

Home is where the heart is....